Morning: one question arrives for both people
Deary begins with one shared question rather than a feed of prompts. Both people receive the same carefully sequenced question at the couple’s chosen morning time.
The notification does not contain the question. It simply tells the person that today’s letter is ready, using either personal or discreet wording according to their privacy preference.
Daytime: each person writes in private
Answers are text only in version one. Each person writes on their own screen and can edit until the reveal happens. The other person cannot watch the answer take shape or open it early.
Submitting makes the letter visibly sealed. The partner can see that an answer exists, never its contents. This small boundary protects an unprompted first response for both people.
A question to keepA launch example: What’s something small your partner does that makes you feel loved?
Waiting: calm status, no blame
If one letter is ready, Deary waits. One optional reminder can help, but there is no public streak, countdown pressure, sad character, or wording that turns a busy day into a relationship judgement.
Either person can skip the question. A skipped question does not consume one of the three free completed reveals.
Evening: the two letters open together
Answers never open before the couple’s chosen reveal time. At or after that time, they open as soon as both people have answered. Both people receive a content-free notification that the reveal is ready.
The reveal brings the question and both answers into one shared view. Different answers are not scored or interpreted. They are simply two perspectives ready to talk about.
After the reveal: one reaction and a private memory
Each person can leave one small reaction on the other’s answer. The complete moment is then filed into the couple’s private timeline with its date and question source.
Existing revealed memories remain readable if a subscription ends. Premium access adds search, filters, annual collections, and export, but the memories already created do not disappear behind cancellation.
Comfort and exclusions travel through the whole system
During onboarding, each person chooses how questions should feel and which topics to leave out. Intimate topics require both people to opt in. Exclusions override every daily question, extra section, and custom prompt path.
Deary does not generate live relationship advice or analyse private answers. Questions are editorially selected and sequenced; the meaning of an answer remains with the couple.
- One shared question
- Two private, editable text answers
- No early opening
- One calm optional reminder
- A shared reveal and private timeline
